So, today i'd english tuition w Mrs.Tan @ 2 pm. & aft that, i went home and switch on my computer to watch series drama, heroes. And, my grandmother just came back from gym, and the quarrel between us started again. She saw me watching movies on computer and then yelled at me, keep telling me, "why u very lazy ar? why i never see u go and study or do some homeworks? You always play computer and watch tv and bla bla bla,,," I really really couldn't stand her already lar. This is not the first time she said those words to me. Its just tt everything that i do , she always think it is wrong and i have to always follow what she ask me to do. I have done some of my homeworks and i got study on weekdays, so, i want to relax just a moment by watching some movies so it could entertain me and not make me so stressful.. So, ok, i ask you all, IS IT A WRONG THING? Am i such a bad and naughty girl that i like everyday, everytime, every moment go and play computer, online, watching tv and etc? I really really couldn't stand her. I can't stand to be in this freakin* life >)': Then, on the other hand, my mom still couldn't understand me. She always think that my grandma, as the oldest person in this house, all her rules are right, EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ISALWAYS CORRECT. I have to always follow her and not disobey her rules. I, as the smallest person (age) in the house, is everytime wrong. Im turning 15 yrs old soon you know, am i mature enough to go out w my friends during weekends? I really couldn't stand to stayy all DAYyyss longg @ home unless i got tuition. Sometimes, if i really couldnt stand to stay at home, i have to try to find a very good reason ( telling a lie) so i could go and hang out with my friends. Do they all know what i feel? I feel so bored, so sad, so annoyed. WHY CANT I GO ANYWHERE except school and tuition? Im not a children anymore. I'm very bored, Everyday have to stay at home,, Can't i just go somewhere during weekends with my friends? ALSO, i think i've grown up already. I understand that i have to study hard. I often think about my future. I know that I'm the one who determines my future. I know , i understand, i really really understand. If there's time for me to study, i'll go straight away to study. BUT, it's just that i wanted to relax and enjoying myself for a moment, is it a crime, is it wrong? I feel so fed up now. I really really feel so sadd that i want to let myself cry as loud as i can. . . . . . . WHY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR? . . . . . Sometimes, i often think to myself, Why am i the smallest age? Why am i a girl? If let say i were born to be a guy, They wont be so strict to me, they dont have to worry about me. Oh mom, if u read my blog, please, wo qiu qiu ni, i beg you,, Can u please understand a bit ur daughter's problem here? I've been always obey u and i feel that i, fillial enough to be a guai kia gurl.. Can u please try to understand me, and tell me what to do? I often feel that grandmother was really unfair to me. Please help me. I don't want this anymore. I really really want some changes in my LIFE man,,,
